Well, somebody figured something out because the Teaser Trailer for Transformers 2 has been released:

Like any good teaser trailer, we have lots of explosions, wide, expansive landscapes and–

Wait a second, this trailer seems a bit familiar. I feel like I’ve seen these elements somewhere…

The destruction of Paris…

A murky underwater shot…

A calamitous crash through a mundane scene…

Shiny metallic title logo…

Oh boy. Did I call it or did I call it when I said: “The new G.I. Joe movie is a lot like the Transformers movie: a highly anticipated big-budget summer blockbuster based on an 80s cartoon series that was originally made for the sole purpose of selling toys.”

Paramount has a formula and they’re going to stick to it! So what if the G.I. Joe trailer and the Transformers 2 trailers “borrow” facets from each other? Paramount is just making sure that you know the G.I. Joe movie will be just as good as the Transformers movie. (“Buy tickets now.”)

To be fair, the Transformers 2 trailer is twice as long as the G.I. Joe trailer, and we get twice as much of the Autobots and Decepticons than we do of the over-exposed Shia LaBeouf.

…based on a 70s Children’s TV Show. Further proof that Hollywood is increasingly terrified of taking a risk with new material.

The most effective part of this trailer is-excepting the green preview screen and the Universal logo–you don’t realize it’s a trailer at first. After the logo appears and you see Matt Lauer, it’s easy guess that an episode of the Today show accidentally been aired–until you see Will Ferrel’s serious and grizzled visage on the white couch next to Lauer.

The rejected handshake sets the pace of the trailer perfectly, and the best moment by far is when an enraged Rick Marshall lunges at Lauer who leaps not-quite-athletically over the back of his chair. The trailer is then a fairly standard series of gags with moments of rather mediocre CG and set pieces that display the various alien, ancient and familiar staples of the original show.

When I saw Coraline in 3D, they ran a trailer for Land of The Lost in 3D, but I can’t seem to find official confirmation that the entire movie will be 3D. I do remember the dinosaur lunge at the end of the trailer was particularly effective in 3D, which caused me to make the logical leap to The Journey to the Center of the Earth. (Which, to my shock, actually has 62% still on Rotten Tomatoes!)

Now, as this is a movie based on a children’s television series, the trailer remains on a G-rated level of humor and will likely scale back the number of borderline gay innuendos that typify Will Ferrell’s other movies, though his brand of humor remains intact in this movie. Perhaps this movie will be one with something for both children and adults. Or… it will just be filled with giant walnuts and Jorma Taccone (of SNL/The Lonely Island fame) in a monkey suit.

Land of the Lost releases June 5, 2009
Visit the official website.

There are bright neon colors, physical gags, scientific explosions, and cheeseburgers raining from the sky. What more could a kid want from a preview? It’s fun to see such fantastic ideas animated (though I may have been okay without the ratbird illustration, considering New York’s pigeons) and the implications of diving into a giant Jell-o mold being explored, even more so as this will be available in 3D. However, one just wishes the animation quality were perhaps a little higher, though I’m sure that won’t matter one bit to the children watching giant pancakes raining down and canceling school!

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs releases September 18th, 2009.
Visit the official website.

Astro Boy aired in the 60s and was literally the first Japanese anime TV series. There was always the vague notion that an Astro Boy movie should be made for the last decade, but I hadn’t heard of any concrete plans that had moved forward. Then, to my shock, as I was hunting down new previews, I was presented with a full teaser trailer and an October release date! Not only is it being made, but it’s well into production!

Now, the teaser trailer really doesn’t do anything except show Astro Boy flying around and a quick glance at yet another star-powered voice acting cast. It starts off with dark, foreboding music as you see the scientists cowering in fear–and then the trailer cuts to Astro Boy flying around and the music U-turns and takes on a positive lilt. For any one who had never heard of Astro Boy, there’s little of interest in the trailer, but for fans of the series, just seeing that it’s been made and actually is going forward is enough.

Astro Boy releases on Octoer 23rd, 2009.
Visit the official website.

So, as Heath Ledger did with Brokeback Mountain and Daniel Radcliffe with Equus, Robert Pattison took a hardcore, edgy role that would take him as far away as possible from the “teen dream” image he has already conquered. And boy has he picked a doozy.

Robert Pattison is one hot mess in this preview for his new movie, Little Ashes. We get a look at him in a multitude of costumes that form our historical image of Salvador Dali, as well as in an array that ranges from the conventional to exceptional. It’s an indie film, so expect copious amounts of artistic, surrealistic and indulgent imagery. Cue dramatic music, probably “O Fortuna.”

The preview doesn’t give us a clear sense of the plot, Pattison’s Spanish accent is poor, and inter-cutting the trailer with old archive footage feels awkward–but nobody is going to notice any of that because <i>Robert Pattison</i> is in it and the movie amps up the focus on Dali’s homosexuality. It’s an edgy role that apparently involves swimming nude and gay sex, which will make the gay fans of Twilight happy. Yes, he’s going to alienate his core fanbase of tween and teen girls, most of whom are far too young to see this R-rated movie, but it’s his first giant leap out of the teen-star ghetto. Pattison’s 22 and looking to move forward. Who knows if this movie will do to his career what he wants it to, but I do think it’s better to dive into the deep end than tiptoe through the shallow water.

Little Ashes opens on May 8, 2009 in limited release.
Visit the official website.

Now, many have ragged on the first Da Vinci Code movie–and I will admit, it wasn’t as good as the book (though, I have quite a few opinions about the book as well)–but the boatloads of money it assured the green light for Angels and Demons.

There’s no hint in the trailer that the movie is actually a prequel to the Da Vinci Code, so those poor souls wondering where Audrey Tautou (who played Sophie Neveu) went will be left hanging. Once again, Tom Hanks returns, and from the trailer, it looks like this movie will do what the movie before it did well: showing off the actual locations and the art.

The diverse sets and the fantastic locations Ron Howard obtained for this set of movies allows people to get surprisingly close to art and locations that would otherwise be foreign to laypeople. That’s not to say some sets aren’t fabricated or CG, but The Da Vinci Code was given unprecedented access to landmark locations, and it looks as though Angels and Demons got similar treatment.

Say what you will about the books and the movie, if you put together Dan Brown’s books, Tom Hanks, a (different) pretty brunette sidekick, shadowy religious conspiracies, fantastic Roman architecture and classical art sprinkled with a healthy dose of pyrotechnics, it all spells another blockbuster.

The most interesting thing of all, though, is that Ron Howard announced Dan Brown had completed his third manuscript, The Solomon Key. Turns out that was news to Random House, the publisher, who quickly denied the existence of the manuscript. That goes to show that this may have been Ron Howard’s push at Brown to get him to finish the manuscript so he would have the material for his third movie. Perhaps if Dan Brown, JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer could all just publish a fresh new book this year, not only would all of the big publishing companies be saved, but so would the big movie studios as well!

Angels and Demons releases on May 15th, 2009.
Who knows when The Solomon Key will release.
Visit the official Angels and Demons website.

The humor portion is made clear by the hand, foot, tongue, elbow and butt scans required to get into the Presidential bunker and the human characters are all charicatures, from the screaming general and the useless President. We’re then introduced to all of the motley crew of monsters.

The trailer is nonstop gags, and while the trailer is cute, it doesn’t hold the depth that the first Shrek movie and the more recent Kung Fu Panda held. I’m sure there will be subtle jokes that exist as easter eggs for the parents that have to accompany their kids, but for the most part, Monsters and Aliens looks like it’s firmly in the children’s movie category.

Monsters vs. Aliens releases on March 27th, 2009.
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Here’s the first one:

It’s a cute look at the “odd couple” of Carl and Russell, who seem entirely mismatched in their polar opposites. We get a better look at Russell’s overeager personality and Carl lightens up a bit when he hears Russell’s snarl–which isn’t a Russell at all.

I’m not entirely sure if these upisodes are clips from the movie or not. I have a feeling they’re online only, which I think is a great idea for the movie. If there’s anything Pixar knows about, it’s characters and animated shorts. There’s not much going on in the background of the upisode, but it’s a good start at fleshing out both Carl and Russell.

Upisode 2 has already been released, and continues the jungle adventures of our two “heroes”:

Up releases May 29th, 2009.
Visit the official website or the Apple Trailer page to wait for more Upisodes.

Honestly, just having Johnny Depp and Christian Bale in the trailer is enough of a sell for most people, so mark that down as one thing Universal did right. Even more than the visuals of the actors and the solid period costumes and details is the timeliness of the story itself. There’s a “war on crime” being waged against John Dillinger, a bank robber who becomes a Robin Hood character who takes from the rich banks, but not the regular lay people: “We’re here for the bank’s money, not yours. Put it away.”

If you read the the description on the official site, it describes the American psyche as an “American public who had no sympathy for the banks that had plunged the country into the Depression.” If the character of John Dillinger isn’t fantasy escapism for most of America right now, I don’t know what is. Even better, the movie is “Based on a true story.”

It’s all so appropriate, it makes you wonder if Universal predicted the Recession. Hmm.

Public Enemies releases on July 1st, 2009.
Visit the official website.